Safe
by wowcute
Summary: Lily sneaks out one night. Jily one-shot


"That was a smashing Christmas party, Potter." Sirius said to Lily, wrapping his arms around her middle.

"I'll come 'round in a couple of weeks for your birthday." Remus told her.

"See you," Peter added before they all left.

Lily wrapped her thin shawl tighter around her shoulders, she had let Marlene borrow her jacket a few days ago. Marlene had gotten injured and therefore was unable to attend the party to return Lily's jacket. Lily was proud to admit she only regretted lending the jacket a bit.

"You're cold." James stated, pulling her towards him. "Let's go to bed, I just got Harry to sleep."

"Alright," She replied, following him to their bedroom. Lily knew it was hard for him to be there, to be pent up in this house. She knew he had sacrificed so much for her and Harry. It made her swell with love. That was why she had to keep what she was going to do that night a secret. He wouldn't understand, she didn't expect him to.

She shivered under the covers, but when James tried to pull her closer she waved him off. "I've a cold, I don't want us both to catch it. Harry could get sick." He shrugged, but she could tell he was bothered by it. "Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you." Lily waited until his breathing became even. She counted off the minutes in her head, not wanting to take any unnecessary risks. When her internal countdown reached ten, she deemed it appropriate to get up.

The bed shifted slightly under the changing weight, but thankfully James was a deep sleeper.

"I love you." She breathed before she took to the door.

* * *

James woke up and Lily wasn't there. "Lily?" He called, his voice scratchy. There was no answer so he fumbled for his glasses which were safely on his nightstand. "Lily?"

When there was no answer, his heart caught in his chest. Was she alright? She had seemed a bit off before bed, was she ignoring him? "Lily, this isn't funny. Even if you're upset at me...just tell me you're ok. Please?" There was no answer, he jumped off the bed, his hand tightening around his wand.

First he went to Harry, who was tucked safely in his crib, his small hands wrapped around a stuffed rabbit. Then he proceeded to search each room, Lily was not there.

"She's gone, she's left." He breathed. He looked in the closet, she had even taken her coat. His knees felt weak so he took to the closest chair. What had he done? Maybe she was taken...but that was impossible she had to have left of her own accord. He wanted to run out of the house, to find her, but he couldn't leave Harry alone.

He took in a few deep breaths, he'd give it a few hours.

* * *

Lily walked into the house, engulfed in James's trench coat. She would never go again, James deserved better than this. They're safe, she would never have to lie to James again. She let out a breath and closed the door lightly behind her.

"You're safe." Was the first thing James said to her. Lily jumped, she had expected him to be asleep. "Where were you?"

"I-I," She couldn't think of a lie to get herself out of that question. "I went for a walk."

"How could you?" He jumped up from his chair, the angles of his face illuminated by the moonlight. "I want to get out just as much as you, but I would _never _put Harry in danger like that!" His eyes narrowed. "Or did you forget? The whole reason we're in this place is to protect him, our son!"

"I didn't think." Tears blurred the edges of her vision. "I just had to...to make sure-"

"Make sure of what, Lily?"

"I just wanted to see if Petunia was alright, ok?" Lily ducked her head into her hands.

"You put her first."

"I promised myself that this would never happen again! She's ok, I'll never leave again. Even if we never get out of this damned house, I'll stay forever. Is that what you want me to say?"

His jaw clenched. "Stop turning this around Lily. You put Harry in danger, you put yourself in danger. It was unnecessary."

"I'm sorry. That's all there is to say. There's no way to justify it. I didn't think."

"Goodnight, Lily." She didn't follow him, when James was angry he needed time to cool off.

Lily took slow steps to her son's room. Harry was asleep in his cot, his small hands wide open at his sides.

"I don't want to hurt you." She smoothed back his dark hair, so much like James's. "I love you so much. It hurts sometimes, you know, thinking about this. This isn't a way to live. You should be able to feel the sun on your skin and the breeze on your face." Lily choked back a cry. "I'm sorry we couldn't give you that life, but it isn't an excuse for me to endanger whatever we have now. Goodnight, love." Then she turned from the room and went to her and James's bedroom.

From the dangerous confusion in his eyes, Lily knew that he had heard. "I love you." Then she turned onto her side and faced the wall.

When she was finally on the brink of sleep she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist and a gruff voice say, "Do you still have that cold?

**That turned out longer than I intended it to, but it happens. XD.**


End file.
